This is one of the reasons why am a photographer and also one day maybe become a writer. I believe pictures a reminder of a certain time and what occurred when they were taken. These pictures were taken in 2009 a week after my wedding. I had 2 big things happen on this day. The first was 😬 " oh my gosh don't laugh guys , this is true life event not just some kinda story from a book where. I got to go on an elevator for the first time, no one told me about them at all, I was just following my husband and his parents walk into a small room. I was the last person to enter and the door started closing while I was halfway in. I screamed in lunda Yayaameeeeee lelu nafwi tata Nzambi kwashi kwashi ami Ever ami!! The people behind working at the reception and lobby laughed so hard. My father in-law also now known as my Father in-love , he rushed by me and held the door. I saw so much love and concern in his eyes. I remember his words still loud and clear in my ears today, " Eva it's okay! You're okay!"

I thought that the elevator door was going to go through me and cut me in half. So now you can imagine the fear that went through my body and the expression I was wearing on my face. Do you have anyone in your life that tells you to focus on them when you feel like everything else is falling apart? The people that were laughing behind me belong exactly where they're meant to be of course ( in the back) I focused on the future the people that were in the elevator waiting for me , my new family and my new Life.

At this point you're probably like ," get to the point Ever, what was the next thing that happened ?"Calm down you crazy reader it's coming

While the second thing was haaaaa help me Lord to get this out

This was my first time to a fancy dinner. It was at the Intercontinental hotel . See we just drove from my village straight to this different planet in the same country. I was so worried about eating with knives and folks. The thought of it consumed me and my whole day . I was

terrified me even more. I was so worried that I completely forgot how to smile. I kept thinking the people that saw me enter this hotel I mean heard me enter this hotel are definitely going to be there at this buffet thing for sure.I wanted to ask someone to teach me how to eat with knives and folks. My whole entire life I had used my hands to eat and only in movies that we saw people cutting chicken and eating at the same time. I was afraid that these people are definitely going to figure me out that I don't belong. My new husband is also going realize that he had just made a biggest mistake of his life. I tried to fake it till I made it but that's not my thing, I don't fake well.

I decided to order the only thing that I know of and how to eat it .They asked me what would you like to drink and I said "can I have nshima and chicken please". My husband said Fanta will be perfect for her. He didn't try to correct me or make me understand what was happening. Everybody got up to go and grab their food. It was an amazing buffet! Each food tray or whatever you call it , had a person dressed in white shirt and black pants behind it to save you. They all looked and seemed fancy.

My husband new that I was terrified, he didn't ask me why I was, or to chin up buttercup.

Him and his brother made sure that the people at the hotel cooked nshima and brought it to me even when it was not on the buffet menu. Nshima is the native Zambian food. It's want I knew , and what I needed on that moment to help me with the fear of people realizing that I didn't know how to eat like a western well mannered person.

The reason why I'm sharing this is to remind someone that it's okay to be terrified when you're not in your comfort zone. It's okay to step forward even when you have no clue what to do. It's okay not to know everything. It's okay to be born exactly where you were born. It's okay to be you because the right people will see you and your potential not the things that fall short on their perfect list of the person they want.The list is endless , I could go on and on, but I want you to know that, this girl if she had a chance to go back to this day, she wouldn't change a thing, she would just remind her younger self that nobody cares weather you use your hands or knives and folk to eat. You're you! The only thing that matters is to enjoy what's in front of you and not let worry steal your today's happiness and experience.

The end!

Now go out there and live your own authentically life and take lot and lots of pictures.

The picture credit goes to my Mother in-love who lovingly captured this moments for her son and I.

I'm forever grateful.

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     What does being brave look like to you?

Well for me being brave is me writing this, like serious am not even kidding. Being brave can look different depending on our circumstances .I don't know about you but for me, am that type of person that makes new year resolution and try to do them. did you read the part that I said try? well I do try but my fear and self doubt keeps me away from reaching all my new year resolutions. Well I feel like God is definitely calling me to be brave, to step out of my comfort zone and allow him to lead me toward my calling which I still don't know what it is that He wants me to do ,but all I can do is say yes and do the next thing.

When I was a growing up I was a very very brave girl. I had so many people tell me that over and over, strangers that I even didn't know would tell me that too. But as I grew up and saw so much hurt in the world fear started growing in me , self doubt started leading my life which you all know how that goes when we allow self doubt lead our lives.  You all know that I'm a self taught photographer right? I remember my 2018 new year resolution. My first sentence was, " I wanna teach myself photography , start a business, run a marathon , build a secondary school in my village ,and write a book" . I don't know about you but am pretty scared re-reading my writing from January 2018. Those are some big goals!! 3 years later i feel like am still writing the same goals every year. The fun  thing is that when I grabbed my journal from 2018 to 2021 they look so identical even the words are the same. I was like " how is this possible"? As the saying foes " speed doesn't matter , forward is forward " hahahhaha , i grew up with elders that kept telling the story about kalulu (Hare) and the Tortoise,we all know that the moral of the story is  slow and steady wins the race. With that being said, Well I did start my business but am working on growing it, I did start building the school which is almost done but close , I did learn photography but I keep wanting to learn more, I ran a marathon but I never stopped running i want to run even more marathons, and I never wrote a BOOK not even  a word.  I realize that writing terrifies me, because it has to do with sharing your life and your past with others. Sharing your story takes guts! But I wanna be brave, don't you?!?! The type of brave that makes people think of Acts 4:13 " the officials were amazed to see how brave peter and the john were, and they knew that these two apostles were only ordinary men and not well educated. The officials were certain that these men had been with Jesus." Man!! I get goose pumps when I read this, I get inspired, it gives me courage, and makes me brave. God is not looking for a giant person with a big fat brain that screams "look at me am smart" , he is looking for you and me, just ordinally people with past problems and self doubt.

Do you wanna be brave this year?!?! Well all you need to do is do the next thing, take the next step, believe in the one who has called you, take one step at a time and say the next yes. Remember you will hear so many discouraging words, self doubt ,you will get hurt big time, you will cry wanting to give up, You will hit the runners wall like I did when I ran a marathon, you will feel like you are gonna die, you will ask your self questions like ; " why am doing this to myself, why can't I just be like everybody else, is this really what am supposed to be doing, this is stupid I give up, and what is in this for me, what do I get out of this?  You will go through ups and down but Take heart my friend because you Braver than you think, you're destined for greatness , you're born for this, you're unstoppable warrior , you're God's child my friend and his got you. Remember a person of courage is also full of faith. So whatever scares you the most go for it!!! So here is my tip for you and me for this year, that blog? Start it. That book? write it. That idea ? flesh it out. That gift? put it to use. That life ? live it my friend!!!! Take chances and believe in yourself.  You're BORN FOR THIS!!! BE BRAVE!! BE BOLD!! BE YOU!!!!